Are you neurodivergent? Have you ever thought or felt like you aren’t normal? Do you have thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, or “I don’t deserve this”, “I’m just lucky that I got this far”?

Ever wondered why you feel that way?

That’s what this post is about. It’s about a phenomenon called “Accomplishment Amnesia” and how to resolve it.

What is it?

I’m not a psychologist or a medical professional by any means. I am just a neurodivergent person who has experienced this phenomenon and through conversations have observed that others have this too. So like most curious people, I just went and did some reading and thought I’d share what I had learned and what has helped me and those I’ve spoken to about this matter.

Most self motivated people who aim to accomplish big goals in life face this type of forgetfulness. They have their goal etched in their brains so hard that all that they think about and remember is the next step to get to the goal. But once they achieve the goal or get to that next step, they forget all that they did thus far and start wondering what next again. This is a common unconscious bias that exists predominantly in neurodivergent individuals. This is exactly what causes Imposter Syndrome too.

Why is it bad?

Human being are typically wired to forget traumatic experiences and hardships. This is a survival mechanism that we have evolved with. In a similar way, because we forget the challenges and hardships, we also tend to forget the work we put in to overcome them. Thus we forget how we got so far and got past those obstacles.

Overtime, we might have done so much and proved our abilities in so many different ways. But in the end, because we don’t remember or cherish those accomplishments, we start to doubt ourselves and our abilities. This self-doubt fuelled further by chasing the next milestone, can lead to a feeling of being unaccomplished and result in a lack of self-worth and self-respect. Often, this leads to a full blown downward spiral of self doubt that makes one feel inadequate and unworthy of their accomplishments and achievements. Sounds familiar?

How can I get over this?

There are probably many ways to get over this. But here are some that I have found to be helpful.

Celebrate your wins

Your wins, no matter how small, are significant. They are yours to keep and savour. So next time you get past the first hurdle along the way to accomplish the big goal, take a moment to celebrate it. It doesn’t have to be about going to a club or bar or throwing a party. But do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Treat yourself to something that you wanted but never really prioritised - hopefully something you can afford to do.

When I get past a challenge, I try to go get a massage to treat myself and get relaxed again. It costs less than a £100 and I feel great as I walk into the place and after. I also remember why I decided to get it.

This is just an example. Several years ago, I used to reward myself by going to the cinema and watching a movie I liked. Some days, when I wanted to treat myself, I’d go to my favourite Indian restaurant to eat some good Indian food! This was simple, but perfect! Not only was it a treat for my mind, but also for my body and soul!

So just do it, whatever floats your boat, hopefully nothing sinister or illegal. Just give yourself that pat on the back and remind yourself why.

Journal your accomplishments and challenges

So it is 2026. You probably haven’t held a pen in months or even years. Did you know that writing things down is beneficial for your brain?

I could go on and link many more articles and even research papers that share more details about this.

I don’t journal every day but I do as frequently a possible. And the days I have journalled, I have felt it incredibly helpful. It leaves me positive and content at the end of the day. A feeling that I would otherwise struggle to get.

It is like reflecting on your day and having a third person view on how you did, talking to yourself about what went well, what can be better next time and so on.

No. This isn’t something lonely people do. This is something that successful people do.

The important thing to remember is, you have to be your own champion. You won’t always have people who cheer you along the way. So you have to be that person for yourself. Of course you will have people who love you, who you meet every now and then. But while they aren’t around, you have to fill that role.

Journaling is a transformational tool, especially for neurodivergent people.

Socialise your wins

I am not asking you to brag here. But you should share your wins with people who you trust and who have good bonds with you. This helps in ways that you probably never thought of. The people who love you will share their perspective on your wins and will remind you how hard it was to get there and how much you’ve grown and accomplished. This helps reinforce the win in your brain.

Pay it forward: What I do to help my direct reports?

Every 1-1 that I have with my direct reports, I make it a point to include a section on the agenda: Big wins since the last time we spoke.

I ask and listen to what they remember and how they talk about it. It is surprising how many individuals are too harsh on themselves and don’t remember their wins or when they do, they downplay them.

So as their manager, I ensure that they remember their wins, I acknowledge their accomplishments and celebrate it with them. Not just in the 1-1 but also later in the team channel or stand-up. This is a great way to share wins and improve the confidence of your direct reports. It is also a great way to build trust and rapport with your team members.

Conclusion

The deal is, you have to be kind to yourself. Imagine your child comes and tells you that they won an award for being the best student in their class or something of that sort. Wouldn’t you be proud of them? Wouldn’t you want to tell them that? Wouldn’t you want to celebrate and make a fuss about it? In this world, you are your own child. You have to be kind to yourself, celebrate and look after yourself. That’s the perspective shift that will change things.

Of course, if you struggle with this, get yourself some professional help. Because you deserve to be happy.